Painful Reading

This is more or less a response to MSA's review of 2010-12-17 on AFFnet.

I understand that feeling of rage, upset, or just sick awfulness that can overcome one when reading a story where something bad happens to a character, or some character behaves in a particularly appalling fashion. I too have had the experience of reading a story only to be upset, in an extreme fashion, by events within it - upset to the point of wanting to step into the story to do something about it. Upset to a degree where I can't get my thoughts away from it, for hours, even an entire day.

But I don't believe that I've ever had that feel when reading pornography. It's like I have two different mentalities for reading stories. In the "ordinary" mode, reading about abuse of a character, particularly a character I like, can be very distressing. But in "pornography" mode such events are more expected, and also feel less real, more like they're "just" fantasy.

My story Moxibustion Violation is definitely intended as pornography. If I were a reader (instead of the author), and I approached MV as ordinary fan-fiction instead of pornography, I seriously doubt I would ever have gotten past the first chapter. I would have been in a frothing rage at the author for daring to write such a brutal rape of a character I like. But approached as pornography it's completely different, it's not merely less upsetting - I can actually find it arousing. I believe that something similar is true for me as the author (instead of reader), except that I believe I'm even more insulated by the act of creation.

So I'm glad to hear that people feel emotionally invested in the story. But I hope that everyone keeps in mind that MV is intended as erotica, and that of a pretty dark kind. Reading it on any other basis, well, it just seems to me that doing so would be far too painful.